A Journey from Darkness – Week 4

When we are children, we are forgiven a lot easier than when we are adults. I guess this has to do with the ramifications of our actions vs. those of a child. I realize that this is very metaphoric in how our body treats us in response to how we feed and keep it. I don’t like it. Sometimes I yearn for the simple years of childhood.

I am thinking these thoughts as I stand in a food store near my apartment while us New Yorkers prepare for Irene. I am debating the end of the world and how these candy bars are going as fast as water. I know, I know, I have a sugar addiction but so what if I die tomorrow? Then again, if they find me surrounded in chocolate, no one will believe I was really trying. Dilemma. I buy 5 just in case.

I leave the store. I text Cat and she fires back to give them to the homeless on the way home. Fortunately for me, that involves one person. I still have 4 beauties in my possession.

So, as you know by now, New York did not suffer to the wrath of Irene like many. I am thankful of this and now return to the days previous for my entry.

This past week I have work harder and been more focused than in the past couple of years combined. This is in part from fear of being fired, but I do feel that the diet has lifted a form of brain fog.

I have actually gone from walking to what I would classify as a light jog with bench breaks in-between. I hated it at first. Then on Tuesday, something miraculous happened. I was resting having built a profuse sweat from what most would laugh at – but then I heard a voice that said, “What do you run 5 or 10?”I looked up and the best looking guy I have seen outside of a model was smiling at me and then asked to sit down beside me. We talked for 5 minutes and he gave me his card and said, “No pressure, but if you ever want to progress in your running – call me.”

Made my day, even though I know I would never call.

Then Wednesday afternoon came. Another work meeting. This time, a former client was brought up which for my Boss puts me front and centre in her mind. It was a long, long afternoon.

I have been eating regularly and forcing myself to have breakfast. I will be honest – I skipped Thursday morning due to schedule and a poor sleep, but I feel it so instantly now, I had someone bring me an apple at the location I was working at.

Irene really determined the rest of my plans and majority of my time. No, I did not eat any of the chocolate bars, but I had ripped 2 open. I am now mastering simple healthy meals at night – some of which serve as lunch the following day.

I am not out of the woods yet by any means. I know that that persevering to the plan Cat made me is paying off in a realistic way to encourage me onward.

The rest is kind of up to me now. I will post more about my actual food intake next week. I really had too much mentally to put out there to show the internal struggle I am facing – because it is my trigger.